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From the moment I had been able to understand how beautiful the world around me is, proud to say that most of my summer vacations are normal and lasted happily, thank you very much. But I said “most of”, not “every”, because I have just had an extraordinary summer that I’ve never expected. A summer that I could experience both cheerfulness and sadness in a very short time. It happened in the last year when I was 21-year-old.
I finished my third year at university with joy and calmness. At that time I thought “Okay! This is the last summer vacation in my university student life so I have to make it super fantastic and worth remembering.”
Eventually, I spent three-quarters of my summertime in two places only, my house and the hospital. In a very sunny morning, I found out my eyes were extremely hurt. I thought that something wrong was going on and I have to go to the hospital immediately. And guess what? I was right. The doctor told me that “You have to be hospitalized as soon as possible because the ocular tension is unacceptably high and your eyes are uveitis”. At that time, I myself believe that I am still quite optimistic and calm. But after a month having treatment in a military hospital, I continued to readmit to it because of some problems that I do not wanna tell you here. Still, the bottom line was I have to take a gap year at university for the best result of treatment. When I heard that news, I thought “Now, my future is gonna be ruined by this shit”. I was too miserable and depressed that my parents were very sad about me. It’s more than 3 times I thought about committing suicide. I was having a good part-time job with a high salary, an internship opportunity at an international law firm and many other things that I wanna do but cannot. I have to say goodbye with every working chance, every expectation and even every memory with my “beloved” boyfriend. We broke up for no reason but deep down I understand why and I also feel sorry for him. Now you might think “Oh, such a drama!”. And yeah, it was. But my sadness didn’t last ‘til the end. In the final month of the summer, I got two surprising news and they really thrilled me.
In a very sunny morning, again, the doctor told me that my eyes were good enough for taking surgery and they will be brighter after that. The second news was my application for Vietnam Summer School of Science (VSSS) was accepted so that I will come to Quy Nhon and study here for 3 days without any payment. To make a long story short, this summer school is for everyone who concerns about science and researches no matter how old you are or where you come from or what you are doing. For me, this summer school gives a chance to think again about myself. I always believe that I am a pure introvert which means I rather listening than speaking. I am not shy, not afraid of people’s judgment but when in a big group with total strangers I usually say nothing. Many people at the very first sight told me that I seem to be very proud and disagreeable because I have a resting bitch face and I constant frown when I’m thinking. I used to be very stressed out whenever I got the message that somehow my quiet and introverted style of being was not necessarily the right way to go. Hence, I had decided to get out of my comfort zone by going to a place where I’ve never been with many people who I’ve never met. I tried to speak and smile a lot, in other words, I was trying to pass as more of an extrovert. But eventually, instead of feeling happy or fulfilled, I felt anxious and exhausted because I was trying to become who I was not. And when I met the lecturers of VSS, I totally changed my mind. I have to say that until now, I have never met any people, any Professors, Doctors, and Researchers who are so talented, dedicated and modest as they are. Some of them speak very little but when they do, we just can listen and remember as much as possible and then admire them. I also met many other students of summer school who have outstanding research backgrounds and study achievements but too humble with what they’ve got. Another good thing that VSSS gave me was the motivation to study abroad, which I’ve never thought I could before. And the last thing I have to tell you, Quy Nhon is a wonderful and beautiful coastal city. I never thought Vietnam would have such beautiful places. If I have a chance, I will definitely come back here.
Okay! Thank you for taking the time to read until now. Finally, I want to say that last summer gave me lots of lessons about health and personalities. Health is extremely important. Don’t be pessimistic, always keep a positive attitude towards all difficulties in life. Because in the end, everything will be fine, if it’s not, it’s not the end. Also, trying to make everyone love you is the craziest and most silly thing you should do in life. Be yourself and try to improve every day! One thing in the last summer I cannot do and I definitely had to do it this summer was to make some more trips and learn a new language. Someone once said, knowing a foreign language is to live one more life. I believe that.
Goodbye!
Bùi Thị Mai Phương SBD MHTT0014
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